Cheshire Cat Road

  • “But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, “otherwise you wouldn’t have come here.”
Alice didn’t think that proved it at all: however she went on. “And how do you know that you’re mad?”
“To begin with,” said the Cat, “a dog’s not mad. You grant that?”
“I suppose so,” said Alice
“Well, then,” the Cat went on, “you see a dog growls when it’s angry, and wags its tail when it’s pleased. Now I growl when I’m pleased, and wag my tail when I’m angry. Therefore I’m mad.”
“I call it purring, not growling,” said Alice.
“Call it what you like,” said the Cat.

I used to scoff at people when I would see their statements back in the MySpace days and beyond. Those being such things as, “I don’t care about politics”, “I don’t want to know what’s going on”. I had to take the long way, surely with a more comprehensive approach of considering all sides(which is not all sides, it’s two or three of the persistent vegetative states of media if that’s where you’re looking). I fell into the trap of left/right and I’m sorry to confess that my first vote was for Reagan based largely on my belief  that he represented the Christian values that I was making some effort to support in 1980.

I think that maybe the real reason a Tea Party was introduced is that it will cause further diversions and the wrestling like matches of elections. Eventually I took a long enough view of what presidents have been  saying in my lifetime only to find out that it’s been one long production, only this miniseries is way too long and there is no pay off. They talk about reducing foreign sources of oil(in their speeches, going back as far as you want to look). All the while having big oil men in gov and giving the largest corps in the world massive tax breaks.

There has been at least what appears to be some progress in areas like food labeling and awareness of how the majority is beginning to view fast food, high fructose corn syrup and GMO’s. These are the most important things that someone who cares about our worldwide family can be focusing on. The science is non negotiable and you will more than likely die with a lot more suffering if you continue to think that people who talk about healthy eating are “foodies” or messing with your business. Party on by all means. All of these things cause cancer for many reasons. Even going back to white rice, white bread and pretty much anything white. Not that the other breads are any healthier unless carefully selected.

The suggestion for me and from me is to do all you can to educate yourself and those interested in not only what to avoid but what you can do for yourself and others to counter the years of damage that most of us who grew up in the 60’s and 70’s ate for quite some time. I ate a very steady diet of chipped ham in the 70’s. Pittsburgh is the largest consumer of this disgusting “meat” in the world. If you missed the studies, I should remind you that Subway meat always tests positive for flame retardant and the same goes for any deli meat which was never healthy even before this started. I can’t say that I’m a hundred percent free of any processed food, especially today, Marcos Pizza day.

What I’ve learned is that there’s nothing in the black bag for me regarding politicians and anything they say or do, since it’s all scripted, the scandals, affairs, slurs and on and on. If we could see the storyboard of whoever facilitates this projection of idiocy that’s been going on in politics since there’s been politics…I believe that it would have shown in advance everything from the election of 2000 to the sequester to the shutdown.

The reward for search and understanding is not more fear and loathing for the way things are but a renewed personal freedom in realizing it’s just a show.




Star Date 1986

I was attending a tech school at the time for broadcasting. It wasn’t a waste. I would eventually go on to work for three different stations. In many ways the first was the most fun because it was completely old school with the AM still using 45’s. I got to do a little on both the AM and FM.

On this particular day some classmates and I were traveling to another town. By all accounts it should have been a pleasant experience. There were some other students with us and I always take control when possible, whether it’s spinning the tunes or driving or both. I’m a Leo through and through. In this case I wasn’t the source of the conflicts. It was a sunny day and a little cool.

First, it was a conflict about the radio. Then there was a conflict about the windows or AC because it was still warm enough when we left to  need AC. I guess this day stood out for me because I’m bad about having expectations and when they are blown to bits it’s been known to upset me. I’m sure no one else can relate to that.

I don’t recall all of the other borderline arguments and tensions but I finally just kind of shut down and stopped having an opinion about anything. When we arrived back at the campus, I said, “We’ll all have to get together again sometime and piss each other off.” Humor is probably my main ‘flight’ when it comes to ‘fight or flight’.

The only fight I was ever in was in the fourth grade and I won. I always tried to avoid the kind of mindset and general attitudes that would lead to that behavior. When I got a little older I really didn’t understand how other people acted. The other thing is that if I’m mad enough to fight, I’m mad enough to kill, to be blunt. I’ve seen myself on two different occasions in the orange jumpsuit for a night. It wasn’t for me.


I Hate Breaking My Own Rules

The main one on my mind lately is when I talk about ‘people this or that’. It’s not because the observation is invalid or inaccurate but because it’s a diversion of energy that might be better spent on something that I could accomplish. There’s an abundance of reasons to give up hope every day if I let myself. Not enough of a consensus, congress isn’t congress, the agenda is so far advanced it seems like we can do little more than wave a last gasping help for relief as the tidal wave finally crushes us into oblivion.

I’m amazed at the times in my life that others have told me in so many words that I’m not who I’m supposed to be. Teachers, co-workers and the illusions of friendship and family. I could have gone another direction but I decided I’d be more like me than ever. I don’t recall who said this but the gist is that we were created to be individuals and most people spend their lives trying to be copies. I intend this not as self-pity but as encouragement to stand your ground and follow what you know is right. Is that really so hard?

Some of the advice that teachers give to a twelve or fourteen year old is like a ticking time bomb. Most kids that age are going to be rebelling in one way or another and to essentially tell them that they better straighten up and fly right was like putting gas on a fire for me.

Part of me would like to be completely free from the matrix and I’ve made great strides, however you see where we are right now. It’s easy to talk about doing other things besides watching netflix or spending time online, kind of like it’s easy to put on weight and much harder to lose.

Someone recently posted that the beauty and hatred that life has to offer makes them want to scream. I can relate to that a great deal. It seems highly likely that we chose to be living in this time. It baffles me that there are those who still have no knowledge of GMO’s and apparently consider anything that isn’t on CNN as a conspiracy theory.

Another major thorn in my side is when you explain some of these issues like geoengineering to someone and they retort with their infantile idiotic mind,”Well, what can I do?” For one thing you can get off your ass and do some research and at least find supplements and nutrient dense foods to combat what has already been done to you.

Realize that nothing has changed in the Hollywood military industrial complex except the indoctrination is more severe and the methods more invasive than ever before. The earth is at least 20% darker and ignorant sheople will still call it a conspiracy theory. See, I’ve gone in a circle right back to having a problem with the general public. Hopefully it’s clear that the underlying reason for this is that I want people to find truth and fight for their lives. I do get angry and always will as far as I know but the trick is not dwelling on it or letting it affect you in a negative way.

Talkin’ Bout a Revolution


Zeeie Notes 3 Tidbits

At one time I attended a Bible college. St Elmo’s Fire was a good movie at the time along with Blame It On Rio and Flashdance. I’m grateful for the friendships that I still have from that time. They’re hard to come by you know. The president of the school passed away a year or so ago. He used to say that the winds of eternity blew across the campus. Indeed they did. Located in beautiful San Antonio, TX, in retrospect;it was a lot more good than bad. Another frequent aside of his was, “Don’t tare down someone’s shack, build a mansion beside it.” I wasn’t the skilled beau that I am today, oh wait…I took this one girl so many stuffed animals that she finally told me that I was going to have to stop. Another girl told me one time that whenever I smile it’s almost like I’m not supposed to. That was a keen insight to say the least.

No stranger to twelve step meetings, also am I. For a while I was hitting a rehab every decade whether I needed it or not. I’ve never really cared for alcohol and didn’t relate to a lot of other’s relationship to drinking. Those places were where I needed to be at the time or they might as well have been.

Part of my answer is in the mystery as well as mayhem. I did decide that I wanted to live and therefore the rest worked itself out but it wasn’t easy. The saying from “the rooms” that stuck with me is, “Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine.”

I used to go around in the same circle every day it seemed. That has changed for the better. There’s plenty to be worried about as there has always been. The object that I strive for on a good day is to realize that I’m just one person and the path is still inward for the most part. I accused myself recently of being a self history revisionist. What I realized though is that I have to do a fly over of the past from time to time in order to see what was actually going on. What lesson did I learn or fail to learn on ‘x’ street or  at ‘y’ place.


Catalysis zephiroth

Zeeie Notes 2

I was four years old at an event around Brentwood, PA. It was the little expedition of kids who had completed swim training and that sort of thing. My parents always got us right into water safety, which I appreciate. They got a kick out of the fact that upon our arrival at this pool every time, I demanded a trip to “the freshment stand”. When it came my time to jump off of the diving board I became afraid because it was the high dive. All that I needed to do was jump and there was an instructor waiting in the water. When I started to relent and walk back away from the end of the board, the crowd started laughing and it was at that moment that the entertainer in me was born. Of course I got the maximum out of doing that a couple or three times before jumping. Little did anyone know what had just happened.

I imagine that as I started to see the world in a limited way through public school and resenting being told what to do at anytime for any reason, I retreated into what I found joy in…Later that would be  a tape recorder and CB radio. I’ve always loved being a bit devilish and I annoyed some people for a little while by recording their interchanges  and then playing them back while those people were on the air. What a ridiculous craze that was;the general public using CB’s for small talk. I’m pretty sure that it all started from Smoky and The Bandit. They had these things called Coffee Breaks, where you would go meet the people you were chatting with. It didn’t take long to see the fruitlessness of that little excursion. Even in a completely vapid endeavor such as the CB crowd at that time there was a click and pecking order. So and so had the best mic, signal, eager chatters…

It’s kind of funny how in many ways I’m what I always was because you tend to think of how much you’ve changed. Thankfully, there have been plenty of changes, probably one of the most beneficial was and is, the fire to read. I know there’s a lot of great fiction which I delve into mostly online in little spurts. But my love is non-fiction;which I’ve realized in recent years can be full of fiction.  I think perception comes closer to being nine tenths of the law than possession.

A convenience store owner(who hired me)asked me(while looking at my history)”When are you going to decide what you want to do with your life?” I said,” If I  knew that I wouldn’t be sitting here.” I probably wouldn’t get a lot of points in the grace or discretion department but I amuse myself, there the secrets out.

Recommended new music Eleanor Friedburger Personal Record from The Friendly Fires.


This is my first attempt ever at mixing multiple tracks to make something new. I’m not crazy about the very beginning or very end but aside from that I’m fairly pleased.


Zeeie Notes 1

With the present absence of a major video platform, my creative side has been suffering a bit. However, it is these sorts of things which I’ve found to be opportunities for personal growth. Don’t you wish sometimes that you could hold onto a moment or period in your life for a little longer than is “allowed”. I guess the GMO beer drinking, sports watching club has that down, however a life long habit devoted to something that has absolutely no meaning and is meant to keep you sedated and easily controlled, isn’t exactly what I’m going for.

People often say about me that I’m smart. That shouldn’t be out of the ordinary but with the massive dumbing down of this country and many others, I suppose it is. I certainly couldn’t prove it on an IQ test because I hate any kind of arbitrary thing like that. Born a rebel till the end…

I find that getting into my 50’s is not the sentence that I imagined. If people are fortunate, they will grow old;not that I’m old yet. By the way, I over use comma’s and tend to write what might be deemed run on sentences. Yes, the English teacher’s did the wrong thing when they told me there was only one way.

I knew it was all mostly(society in general/public school)was a bag of gas before I had the evidence to prove it. I also don’t agree with the rules about not ending sentences with a preposition or adverb. It’s what I do.

As opposed to some of my earlier musings online in various and sundry places, I will attempt to offer truth and worthwhile life experiences as well as observations without doing so from a political or in a duplicitous manner. Those sorts of views are inevitably lost by the reader’s logical fallacies and blatant ignorance(not you)(well maybe).

The short lived Living Colour band had a song called, Information Overload around twenty years ago. That couldn’t be more true today. If you’re not at least a little confused by all the reports(many conflicting), you may not be doing your job correctly.*ding, ding, ding

Write’s write and I do too. It’s very simple to activate yourself, which is to say that I hope for comments and or criticisms


The Schedule:No schedule