At one time I attended a Bible college. St Elmo’s Fire was a good movie at the time along with Blame It On Rio and Flashdance. I’m grateful for the friendships that I still have from that time. They’re hard to come by you know. The president of the school passed away a year or so ago. He used to say that the winds of eternity blew across the campus. Indeed they did. Located in beautiful San Antonio, TX, in retrospect;it was a lot more good than bad. Another frequent aside of his was, “Don’t tare down someone’s shack, build a mansion beside it.” I wasn’t the skilled beau that I am today, oh wait…I took this one girl so many stuffed animals that she finally told me that I was going to have to stop. Another girl told me one time that whenever I smile it’s almost like I’m not supposed to. That was a keen insight to say the least.
No stranger to twelve step meetings, also am I. For a while I was hitting a rehab every decade whether I needed it or not. I’ve never really cared for alcohol and didn’t relate to a lot of other’s relationship to drinking. Those places were where I needed to be at the time or they might as well have been.
Part of my answer is in the mystery as well as mayhem. I did decide that I wanted to live and therefore the rest worked itself out but it wasn’t easy. The saying from “the rooms” that stuck with me is, “Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine.”
I used to go around in the same circle every day it seemed. That has changed for the better. There’s plenty to be worried about as there has always been. The object that I strive for on a good day is to realize that I’m just one person and the path is still inward for the most part. I accused myself recently of being a self history revisionist. What I realized though is that I have to do a fly over of the past from time to time in order to see what was actually going on. What lesson did I learn or fail to learn on ‘x’ street or at ‘y’ place.